action-description

动作与描述技能

调用触发条件

在以下情况下应用此技能：

• 撰写场景描述
• 编排动作序列
• 描述视觉叙事
• 设置动作段落格式

动作格式基础

基本规则

1. 现在时：始终使用“walks”，而不是“walked”
2. 主动语态：“John opens the door”，而不是“The door is opened”
3. 第三人称：描述镜头所见
4. 视觉化：只写能够拍摄出来的内容

段落结构

INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

A single bulb swings overhead. Shadows dance on concrete walls.

SARAH creeps forward, gun raised. Her breath mists in the cold.

A SOUND. She freezes.

• 段落简短（2-4 行）
• 每个新的节拍另起一段
• 留白能够体现节奏或剪辑

视觉写作原则

展示，而非讲述

错误：

Sarah feels nervous about entering the room.

正确：

Sarah hesitates at the threshold. Her hand trembles on the doorframe.

只写能拍出来的内容

错误：

John thinks about his ex-wife and wonders if he made the right choice.

正确：

John stares at a photograph. His jaw tightens. He turns it face-down.

措辞精简

错误：

Sarah is a woman in her thirties with brown hair and she walks across
the room very slowly and deliberately, her high heels clicking on the
hardwood floor as she makes her way to the window where she looks out
at the city lights below, thinking about everything that has happened.

正确：

SARAH (30s, sharp) crosses to the window. The city glitters below.

大小写惯例

需要大写的内容（仅首次出现时）

• 首次介绍角色时，将其名字大写
• 关键音效
• 重要道具
• 关键视觉元素

INT. APARTMENT - DAY

SARAH CHEN (30s) enters. She drops her KEYS on the counter.

A PHONE RINGS. She ignores it.

On the table: A GUN. She stares at it.

避免过度大写

只将真正重要的内容大写。不是每种声音或道具都需要强调。

动作序列节奏

快节奏（动作）

短句。短段落。留出大量空白。

Sarah runs.

GUNSHOTS behind her.

She dives behind a car. Glass SHATTERS above her head.

Returns fire. Two shots.

Silence.

慢节奏（戏剧性）

句子较长。描述更多。减少换行。

Sarah stands at the window. The rain traces patterns on the glass,
distorting the city lights into abstract impressions.

She presses her palm against the cold surface. Breathes.

Behind her, the apartment is dark. Still.

摄影机与指导

黄金法则

规格剧本中避免使用摄影机指示。

错误：

CAMERA PANS across the room to reveal John.
CLOSE-UP on the photograph.
WE SEE Sarah through the window.

正确：

John sits in the corner, unnoticed.
The photograph: a family at the beach. Happier times.
Through the window: Sarah, alone.

可接受的例外

仅在镜头本身就是故事时，少量使用：

ANGLE ON: The bomb. 00:03... 00:02... 00:01...

常见动作模式

角色登场

The door opens. JOHN MARCUS (40s, worn suit, wary eyes) enters.
He scans the room before committing to it.

环境描述

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY - NIGHT

Rust and shadows. Broken windows let in slants of moonlight.
Somewhere, water DRIPS.

无对白反应

Sarah reads the letter.

Her face changes. Something breaks behind her eyes.

She sets the letter down. Walks to the window. Doesn't speak.

同时发生的动作

INTERCUT:

Sarah sprints down the hallway—
John breaks through the window—
The timer hits 00:05—

They COLLIDE at the door.

转场与节奏

场景结尾

以鲜明的画面或时刻收尾：

Sarah looks at the gun. Reaches for it.

                              CUT TO:

时间流逝

EXT. CITY - NIGHT (LATER)

The streets are empty now. A single car passes.

蒙太奇格式

.MONTAGE - SARAH'S INVESTIGATION

- Library: Sarah searches through newspapers
- Street: Sarah photographs a building
- Bar: Sarah interviews an OLD MAN
- Home: Sarah pins photos to a board, steps back

.END MONTAGE

应避免的事项

常见错误

1. “We see”——删除。这层意思不言自明。
2. “begins to”——直接写动作。
3. 被动语态——使用主动语态。
4. 摄影机指示——规格剧本中应避免。
5. 内心想法——改为外在表现。
6. 华而不实的辞藻——保持简洁。

修改前后对比

// Wrong
We see Sarah as she begins to slowly walk across the room
toward the window where she will look out at the view.

// Right
Sarah crosses to the window. She looks out.

校验清单

• 全文使用现在时
• 使用主动语态
• 只写能够拍摄出来的内容
• 段落简短（2-4 行）
• 关键元素按规范大写
• 不含摄影机指示（规格剧本）
• 画面感鲜明
• 措辞精简